Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo is an amazing woman, one of the youngest Fortune 500 CEO's and a trailblazer for women in the male dominated technology sector. She is the kind of person i hope both my daughters aspire to be like rather than the vapid reality TV celebrity, which seems to be the vogue among many nowadays. She recently commented in an interview (http://postcards.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2012/11/28/yahoo-mayer-talks/?section=magazines_fortunet) that having a baby was easier than expected, which is great. I'm delighted for her, (I find it bloody tough) especially as she was able to return to work less than two weeks after giving birth. She's a lucky woman that her circumstances allow her enough support to be able to juggle the work and childcare balance than many strive and fail to hit. We all dream of not worrying about going to work on 2 hours sleep, having to get the kid and herself dressed and out the house to be on time for work, to have to deal with household jobs, shopping, supplying prizes for the school Christmas fayre, dropping off at ballet and picking up from the childminder, or the accompanying guilt that comes with all this. We shouldn't castigate Marissa for her finding things easy, she has after all worked bloody hard to get where she has, but as Dad's maybe we should perhaps stop and have a think about the incredible working mums that work just as hard as Marissa and but don't find it an 'easy' balance to both bring in money to the household while being a full time mummy.
Given what I do for a living one of the most asked questions
of me is what games console should I buy my child for Christmas? My answer is
always it depends… you wouldn't buy a sports car if you and your family lived
down a country lane would you? And you wouldn't buy a 4x4 if you lived in the city… oh, perhaps scrub that last bit.
To the uninitiated it might seem like an odd thing to say,
but pick the games console might suits you and your child’s needs. They’re not all the same; some are much more suitable
to different ages and types of entertainment.
If you don’t want to spend £300 for a very expensive box under the TV
that isn't touched, or on a console that is deemed ‘babyish’ in less than a year’s
time, read on.
Best Games Console For Child Under 5
If your child is under 5 my suggestion is don’t bother,
they’re far too young to really get the moneys worth out of a games console. Instead have a look at the Mobi-Go range
which offers a more educational learning spin and offers both a touch screen and
a Qwerty keyboard for learning the alphabet, spelling and numeracy.
I was extremely sceptical of thinking that the apps on
mobile phones or tablets are just as useful, until we purchased a mobi-go one
for Number 1 last Christmas. It costs
around £50 and new games are £10-£15. While it does chew through batteries it’s
simple to use, is of a solid build, chunky and portable it’s great for the kids
to use on their own without worrying they’re going to scratch or damage it like
you would with your tablet or smart phone (There is also no chance of having
them in app purchase £500 of smurfberrys either)
Best for Long Journeys
For your younger ones look no further than the 3DS for a
portable games console, it comes in a range of colours and has a large range of
games. It’s worth noting that Nintendo
themselves recommend that the 3D option isn't used by Children under the age of
7 (a simple slider bar means you can switch it off easily) it’s priced around
£130 and the games aren't cheap when you’re used to App store prices, at around
£30.
Sony’s PlayStation Vita is a lovely bit of technology
straddling the line of tablet and games console with multiple touch screens, internet
access and a massive range of music and films that can be downloaded (although
the PSN store is not a patch on ITunes) it’s perfectly suited to older children
& teenagers. However it’s range of
games are very expensive and quite limited, and while more are on their way,
there might not be a huge amount of games for the future. For those already owning a PlayStation 3 the
Vita offers even more, offering cross play and inter connectivity between the
two, really bringing value to the vita.
You can get some excellent deals pre-Christmas with the handheld and
games bundle for less than £200
Best For Families
The Wii was a staple in houses up and down the country a few
years ago, now seemingly consigned to the gathering dust in a cupboard it still
has a huge catalogue of games at very low prices and can be enjoyed by the
whole family offering that old fashioned board game fun on Christmas day.
However once the games are finished there is very little else to recommend
about the now rather dated Wii.
Microsoft’s Xbox 360 and Sony’s PlayStation 3 are two of the
big boys in the market and offer the widest breadth and range of games
available everything from dancing & karaoke games to realistic military
shooting games. However connect them to
the internet and they come into their own as a central part of the living room,
both offer streaming of BBC’s Iplayer and equivalent Channel 4 and ITV
versions. If you have Lovefilm and Netflix accounts you can access them through
the consoles. Both consoles offer direct
purchase of Games and films (films can also be rented) as well as demo and
video downloads from their own stores. Both
consoles also have parental setting so you can control what your little monsters
can view & play.
As far as that family ‘board game’ at Christmas feel, Microsoft
has the Kinect an expensive, if somewhat flawed, camera that sits on your TV but
allows for some lovely group family experiences around the likes of Ubisoft's Disney Just Dance game & Kinectimals,
Sony’s offers the JK Rowling Wonderbook: Book of Spells, perfect for budding Harry Potters who will see
their book come to life on screen and cast spells with their wands on screen.
So which one to Pick?
Tough. Both have their merits and
there is very little to choose between them both. Find out what your circle of friends own so
older Children can play online with people they know. Failing that just go for the best deal and there are some excellent ones out there.
Prices for the
consoles begin at £130 and increase in price based upon the size of the HDD games retail for £15 - £50
Best for Dad Pretending he’s Buying it for the Kids
That’ll be the Wii U, Nintendo’s new hope, the console launches today stock is
limited and will be till after Christmas.
While Nintendo will be hoping that the console replicates the success of
the Wii some commentators are more sceptical.
The console comes with a tablet style controller that allows dad the kids to play while someone else is watching the TV and makes for some interesting game ideas, where the touch screen can be used.
Its expected that both Sony & Micorosft will launch their new consoles next year so you might want to hold off for a little while before taking the plunge
This isn't about the amazing Simon and Garfunkel song of the same name, nor is it that time post 7pm when the kids are asleep in bed and the silence is only broken by the glug glug glugging of wine being poured into the glass... no the sound of the silence is as dark and terrifying as the lyrics of the song.
You're having a nice conversation with your other half, maybe on the phone to an old friend or caught up with some household chores. Your partner turns and stares open eyed like the moment in a horror film where the killer ghost reveals it's self.
The conversation then goes something like this
"What???"
"LISTEN"
"......."
"Oh *£!&"
At that point the penny drops, your angelic little girls are silent, there is not a noise to be heard. Your feet start moving like roadrunners, moving but getting no traction, the world slows as you take the corner from the kitchen as your socked feet slide like they're on ice, you fly round the into the room the silence has enveloped like a fog and and you find a scene like this...
Well in my case it Number 2 was the wannabe Banksy / displaying her creative side with the crayons... we are now decorating the lounge a little earlier than expected.
With apologies to Simon and Garfunkel
Hello
reader, my new friend
I've come to post a blog again
Because a princess softly creeping
Drew on walls while I was sleeping
And the vision that was painted on the wall
Still remains
I should have noticed the sound of silence
In restless nights I worked alone
Scrubbing walls like cobblestones
'Neath the halo of a habitat lamp
I scrubbed with sugar soap and damp
When my eyes were drawn by the flash of neon pen
behind the sofa
And i cursed the sound of silence
And in the Ikea light I saw
Ten thousand crayons, on the floor
Paint was everywhere and leaking
The glue on the floor was glistening
People who experience writing on the walls never shared
And i forgot to
Disturb the sound of silence
"Fool!", said I, "You will never learn
They'll work together to take a turn
Always hide the craft when you're at home
Please read my words that I might teach you
Take my twitter so I might reach you"
But my words, like marker pen on walls will be ignored
And etched
In the wells of silence
And as I went to B&Q
This story i'm telling you
the till flashed out its warning
Blimey the cost of paint is soaring
And the lesson learnt in all this, "The words of
the princess are written on the living room walls
but they're no Banksy's"
And are scribbled in the sound of silence
One of the things never mentioned in any of the parent manuals is
what the bloody hell to do when the weather is not great, you’re stuck at home
and there is rugby on the TV…
Now i’ve tried to watch the Rugby the at the same time as entertaining
the girls, it doesn't work, as Number 2 either stands at the TV shouting ‘Peppa’
or Number 1 wants some musical from the 1940’s or a Disney Film (thank god for
the excellent LoveFilm streaming service on the PlayStation 3).
I've tried playing with the girls while keeping an eye on my Sky
Go on the phone. But to no avail. As soon as my back is turned I recognise the ‘silence’
which means Number 2 is most definitely upto no good. Either climbed on the table, playing with the washing machine or digging in the cat food again.
Certain indoor games do work for a short while, you can buy 10
minutes at a time with Number 1 with hide and seek, sitting there counting
loudly to twenty then watching TV for 10minutes before an irate 4 year old susses
that’s she’s been played and then insists you hide as punishment. Even hide and seek leaves you with Number 2 who for that 10 minutes will get hold of the
remote, press buttons on it that will render your TV useless as a large “you
have no new messages” sign pings up slap bang across the middle of the screen leaving
you no idea how to get rid of it.
I've even tried deflecting the attention onto the cat trying to
make her the centre of attention, But NO she gets a blanket and a cuddle.
Even when Number 1 was going through a short lived Harry Potter
spell, where role play meant I could lock her in the cupboard under the stairs for
an entire afternoon, didn't last long after the wife pointed out that social services might not like it as much as Number 1 did.
Now that might make me sound like a bad parent, I love my
daughters dearly. So on Saturday at 2.35pm just as England kicked off against Fiji, i admitted defeat, pressed Rec on the Sky box and went
for a walk in the countryside. I loved it more than the girls did… but thank god
for 3G reception
Number 2 is adorably cute, to the point that if she wakes up in
the night you can hear her calling "Mummy. Daddy, Cuddle?" the whole
learning new words is wonderful as a parent, heart melting, tear to the eye
stuff.
But it's Number 1
where we find most fun, her stubborn I’m always right streak makes
for some interesting conversations. As a two year old her Great Uncle Rodger
was simply known as "Uncle Bugger" while last Christmas as a three
year old, she kept asking to open her "African Lavender" cue puzzled
looks and full on screaming tantrum when everyone looked puzzled till we worked
out she was asking for her Advent Calendar.
It truly is amazing what kids soak up through osmosis…
Recently
when discussing the human body with her school teacher Aunt that the heart
was being discussed.
Aunt “the heart
keeps you alive”
Number 1 “what happens
when it stops?”
Aunt “well you die
and then you go off to heaven”
Number 1 “Great Nans heart
stopped and now she’s in heaven. Heaven is a very long way away. It’s so far
away that we can’t go and see her anymore… it’s nearly as far away as Auntie
Did lives”
Auntie Did actually lives in Ware less than 10 miles away, but my
mother in Law
is always moaning about how far the drive is from Barnet.
My knowledge of what to do with hair starts and stops at throwing a bit of molding mud in it and rubbing it in to look messy, and the period where i used hair straighteners as part of some clever comb over weave thing i nearly managed to pull off in my early 30's
It's fair to say that aside from the those stray long hairs I've started finding in my eye brows and growing out of my back as i've got older hair is an old, distant, barely remembered friend. So when 'Number 1' asks for her hair in a ponytail for school we have two options
a) I try and sell her the benefits of an Alice band
b) i try a ponytail.
Plan a) never ever works, even when you pitch it to her that Alice Bands are cool, as seen on Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella (Pro Tip - never ever mention footballers at this point) you are only met with a withering stare that only a 4 year old with attitude can deliver. You know the one that questions the very fabric of your existence on this planet as an adult let alone a parent. I've learnt this look also signify s the beginning of the count down to an apocalyptic tantrum.
Plan b is where the nightmare begins, i only have two hands, but i'm supposed to brush the hair? hold it together? and then hold a hairband in to hold it in place? You have got to be kidding me.
I try and make my daughter happy by having a stab at it. But because i don't have three hands ends in me packing her off to school with a tail so off centre, so wonky, that any pony whose tail it resembled would have been shot and packed off to the glue factory before it even got to run in the paddock.
Before i really get to the stars of this blog, i just wanted to let you know a little more about me. I am after all the narrator to the story that will play out over the next 20 years or so. You therefore must, no, need to know a little bit about my background so you can understand where i'm coming from on this. So please indulge me for a single post.
I have the best job in the world... if you asked a 15 year old boy that is.
I work in the videogames business and not those happy bright videogames beloved of small children and normally played on Nintendo's consoles. I'm talking the dark nasty games where you shoot people in the face, where you butcher the masses with chainsaws, where killing nets you points, the kind of thing that supposedly inspires American teenagers to shoot up schools if you listen to the Daily Mail. My dad tells me to grow up and get a proper job. I'm 35.
5 years ago my ideal day would have consisted of video games, watching sport, drinking beer probably an evening out with a meal. I was your typical bloke, sure i always had a feminine side, i love the colour pink, do all the cooking in the house but I was happiest doing traditional 'boy stuff'.
Perhaps naively I always imagined having a son to play football in the garden with, to take to the rugby, to watch them grow up and become men. So when 'Number 1' came along I was a bit taken aback, my next 10 years were going to be filled with One Direction concerts, dance recitals and Disney on ice. 'Number 2' came along a few years later, just to compound my distress i was now going to have to deal with two lots of boyfriends, two lots of shopping trips as they grew older, and two weddings to contribute to. As i thought about my situation i also realised that it also meant that i'd have two lots of cuddles, afternoons off when they wanted to go shopping with their mum, two little girls whose father, at least until they were 12, would be the most important man in their life. It also had the possible added benefit of being forced to go and see the Saturdays in concert. Swings and roundabouts and all that...
This is my first post, well not my first post you understand, somewhere on the deepest darkest depths of the internet there are probably three or four blogs that I once started that never got as far as the third post, who are now are officially dead... But the first post on 'Daddy's Little Princesses' and why will this be any different? Well content for starters. I have an unlimited supply of content thanks to my two little princesses, or daughters or monkeys, or something a much ruder (under my breath) when they're playing me up and I've only had a couple of hours sleep...
Please allow me to introduce you. I'm calling them Number 1 and Number 2 for the sake of this blog as until they're old enough to make a decision on whether they want to be named by their embarrassing Dad. This way we'll never had that awful thing where two teenagers refuse to speak to me after their school mates find the Google TV ad i approved on youtube, you know the one that starts with me showing pictures of them as kids goes on to show them growing into beautiful young women and makes you get a bit misty eyed? I digress.
No 1 - My eldest. 4 years old. Just started school, a mixture of angelic beauty and Chucky from Child's play. Has inherited my temper when lacking sleep alongside my love of a moan and her mothers stubborn streak, this is not a good combination. She will cause me all manor of problems in the future as she grows up.
No 2 - The youngest. 17 months old. Squealing noise machine. Confident & outgoing, surprisingly strong & much more laid back than number 1. Top wind up merchant and naughtier than her bigger sister, but is always affectionate and does everything with a giggle and a smile that it's impossible to tell her off. She will cause me all manor of problems in the future as she grows up.
These two alongside my wonderful wife and our old cat Millie make for an interesting mix. It's less of a battle of the sexes and more intergalactic warfare.
This blog is all about a simple man who loves beer, technology and sport whose life is now a whirlwind of pink, Disney, ballet lessons and wouldn't change a thing...well maybe a little
