A Spoonful of Sugar

We were on a short break last weekend on the outskirts of Weymouth when no2 comes down with a very high temperature and a series of rotten nappies. While she was a little clingy had it didn't really spoil to much and we were all able to enjoy a lovely time at thanks to a steady supply of Neurofen.  On returning home my wife took her to the local GP, convinced it was tonsillitis, our local GP couldn't make a clear diagnosis from an un-cooperative 2yo who refused to open her mouth, insisting her big sister should be at the doctors instead. A late night rush to the out of hours GP on Saturday finally confirmed that it was in fact a case of Mother knowing best as tonsillitis was diagnosed and antibiotics prescribed.

And that dear reader is where the problems began... 

On returning home from the late night chemist tired and ill, we decided to started the first course straight away. The first bottle prescribed proudly stated 'Sugar Free' and was a bright orange and smelt faintly of citrus. 'No2' took the syringe swallowed a tiny amount then pulled a face 

Ewww. No. That’s Gross. | Gifrific

The remaining 4ml we tried to hide in ice cream, jam, yogurt, jelly, we tried bribes, promise and reason... to no avail, all rejected to the point that she wouldn't trust us to even put her to bed for fear we'd trying and slip medicine in somewhere. In a final resort we tried to forcefully give it to her with a syringe, wrapping her up in a towel so she couldn't thrash around like a octopus trying to be put in a bag. The antibiotics went down for around 11 seconds before they were vomited back up, to bed she went tired and poorly with two frustrated parents.  "How bad can it be?" i asked the wife and tasted a tiny amount. After violently retching several times i vowed to called the Dr's first thing in the morning for something more palatable. 

The 2nd bottle of antibiotics also claimed to be sugar free, and looked more like the contents of a glow stick poured into a bottle, it too came with a taste which was more reminiscent battery acid. Mary Poppins rum punch flavour this most certainly was not... Again this was rejected out of hand by 'no2'. I turned to Facebook and twitter for help, and got several suggestions - Mash it in with Jam; 1/3rd of a jar was not enough to mask 5ml of the noxious florescent yellow stuff. I tried several other ways of trying to mask it, i tried to force it down but only ended up covering clothes and furniture, this was not going to work. 

I called the Dr and we spoke at length about the situation of trying to get Children to take foul tasting medicine, she agreed that it was a problem and suggested amoxicillin the banana flavoured antibiotics i remember from my childhood which while not being ideal might work, it's still not the nicest tasting medicine when it first came on the market 40 odd years ago now but it's still the only one that is adapted for children. 

'No2' is on the mend again, but this episode highlights a total lack of understanding from pharmaceutical giants that having an ill child is stressful enough without them rejecting the very thing supposed to make them feel better. That as parents we could not give a shit about our poor little monkeys teeth, about how much sugar is in the pediatric suspension, or how many e-numbers were put in to make it easier to take.  You can bet that if you could purchase the stuff over the counter they'd all be fighting it out to make them better tasting, more palatable and more appealing to Children. 

The NHS cannot absolve itself either, bad tasting medicine is a false economy i now have 3 bottles of antibiotics in my fridge, surely it would have been cheaper to give us one slightly more expensive bottle 'no2' would have been willing to take?  I know these medicines exist, one pharma' sales manager has already been in contact to say it's not kids medicine is not rocket science and that his company is producing chocolate & orange flavours. 

As for sugar helping the medicine going down, it certainly does, and as it's medicine our little darlings aren't going to be drinking it by the litre now are they? 

  

3 into 2

The Boy is due in August which seems ages away but i know will sneak up on us pretty quickly, so we're planning on putting the girls together in the same room from this weekend. Bunk beds are due to be delivered on Thursday, so swearing will be heard across the home counties from Saturday morning as i attempt to put them up.

And it's in a good time too, Number 2 has just started climbing out of her cot i say climbing out, more getting herself over the top of it and letting gravity do the damage on the way down. It's a thunk followed by a scared just under 2 year old crying...

The downside to them both going into one room beside having to decorate the nursery again, which has had much of it's wall paper peeled off around the cot... the little bloody ASBO monkey.  What concerns me the most is how badly it could go with them keeping each other up all night, or number 2 escaping and running amok.

Only the other morning did number 1 go downstairs to be greeted with a "hello... How are you?"  as number 2 helped herself to the breakfast cereal while Saturday we were woken by two child follow my leader/ conger line around the bed...

Any tips anyone?

Blue is the Colour. Being a Daddy is the game

So it's a boy.

We didn't want to know, we liked the idea of a surprise, but when offered with the chance to know during the scan we crumbled.  Like knowing you have to go home but are being offered one last drink in the pub, you know you'll be in trouble later, but it was on offer and you can't turn it down can you?

It could have been totally different, but for one little thing...

Number 1 has been incredibly excited about the whole thing she's told just about everyone at her school, so when my wife asked if she'd like to go to see the baby in Mummy's tummy at the hospital she jumped at the chance.

We turned up at the scan and were politely asked if we wanted to know towards the end the sex of the baby, my wife and i looked at each other and smiled and said "no, thanks".  "YES, YES... YES we do" came the shout from the up until then quiet as a mouse #1... it was the equivalent of the elbow nudge and "come on one more quick one" every man knows so well from being with friends in the pub.

A twinkle in my wife's eye said she was ready to accept that illicit drink.

"Shall we?"

and the die was cast...

"it's a Boy"

"Owwwwww...." grumped #1 wanting yet another sister

A few minutes later we're sitting in the waiting room waiting for Mummy to go to the toilet.

"So Daddy. Oscar is a nice name isn't it?"

I think I've created a monster.

The School Run An Anthropological Goldmine

So I’ve been off looking after the girls while my wife was away on business for the past two weeks. I loved every second of it so when I win the lottery I shall be retiring to be a stay at home dad.

One thing that fascinated me was the school run, the politics, the fashion, the tantrums.  I live in leafy Herts and everyday was an eye opener.  Attenborough would have a field day about the cliques and anthropological goings on at 8.45am every day.  

Here are just a few types I've noticed on the school pick up

The Alpha Mum

Knows everyone, knows everyone’s business.  Runs the show like she was the prison top girl. Has a gang of slightly lower on the social spectrum mums that she is always to be found around.  Teachers and small countries are scared of her. Frequently tanned from her exotic holidays. Drives a 4x4. And everyone knows about it.

The Organiser

When she’s not mothering her own she’s trying to organise everyone else. “Fancy the PTA quiz night?” “Can I interest you in the 70’s disco at the school?” “Would you like to come around for a Neal’s yard party?” “Can I count on you to help with the Easter parade”... “No piss off”   Only marginally more popular than ‘Weird Dad in a Hat’

The Glam Young Mum

The glam young mother that many others look enviously at, always immaculately groomed she sashays into the playground like she was on a catwalk in Milan. Stick thin, no one speaks to her except other young mums and all the dads…

The Weird Dad in a Hat

There is always that dad wearing an awkward baseball cap that if you saw hanging around the school playground at any other time you’d probably call the police.  When you arrive you realise it’s just you and him so you start signing up for ‘the organisers’ events or finding some very interesting spam email on your phone.

The Gym Mum

Always drops the kids off wearing sportswear and a full face of make up, a look that attempts to say that I’m off to Pilates for a couple of hours, a swim, then massage before eating an organic salad for lunch.  But actually just says that I couldn't be bothered to get dressed this morning and this is just a more socially acceptable version of PJ’s and Uggs to do the school run.

The Thinks he’s a Ladies Man Dad

Despite the fact he’s nearer 40, but dresses 15 years younger, has a pot belly and male pattern baldness he believes he’s something from a Diet coke break.  Surveys the young mums and anyone that gives him a second glance like a geriatric Lion on the plains of the Serengeti.  Makes eye contact and assumes they’re 'up for it'.

The Grandparents

Normally chasing around a younger sibling trying to get them to stop climbing on the playground climbing frame and “please sit in their buggy and see if they can see their bigger brother/sister”  will talk to anyone.  Best smiled to but avoided.

The Working Mum

Working glamour with a hint of breakfast cereal, always nicely turned out but not quite perfect as is the way when getting dressed in the morning involves ready break smeared toddlers hanging off one leg while their 5 year old roots around in the make up bag dropping foundation on the floor, which she then gives up and goes without.

The Late Mum

On walking out of the gate after dropping the kids off at school, she’s manically heading the other way pushing a Phil & Teds buggy with two kids in and another walking behind looking disheveled, and missing a coat.  Always last to drop off and last to pick up.  Doesn't work.  Just a terrible time keeper. Always seems to be a red head. 

On the Sixth Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to me... Six Consoles Gaming

Given what I do for a living one of the most asked questions of me is what games console should I buy my child for Christmas? My answer is always it depends… you wouldn't buy a sports car if you and your family lived down a country lane would you?  And you wouldn't buy a 4x4 if you lived in the city… oh, perhaps scrub that last bit.

To the uninitiated it might seem like an odd thing to say, but pick the games console might suits you and your child’s needs.  They’re not all the same; some are much more suitable to different ages and types of entertainment.   If you don’t want to spend £300 for a very expensive box under the TV that isn't touched, or on a console that is deemed ‘babyish’ in less than a year’s time, read on.

Best Games Console For Child Under 5

If your child is under 5 my suggestion is don’t bother, they’re far too young to really get the moneys worth out of a games console.  Instead have a look at the Mobi-Go range which offers a more educational learning spin and offers both a touch screen and a Qwerty keyboard for learning the alphabet, spelling and numeracy. 

I was extremely sceptical of thinking that the apps on mobile phones or tablets are just as useful, until we purchased a mobi-go one for Number 1 last Christmas.  It costs around £50 and new games are £10-£15. While it does chew through batteries it’s simple to use, is of a solid build, chunky and portable it’s great for the kids to use on their own without worrying they’re going to scratch or damage it like you would with your tablet or smart phone (There is also no chance of having them in app purchase £500 of smurfberrys either)

Best for Long Journeys

For your younger ones look no further than the 3DS for a portable games console, it comes in a range of colours and has a large range of games.  It’s worth noting that Nintendo themselves recommend that the 3D option isn't used by Children under the age of 7 (a simple slider bar means you can switch it off easily) it’s priced around £130 and the games aren't cheap when you’re used to App store prices, at around £30. 

Sony’s PlayStation Vita is a lovely bit of technology straddling the line of tablet and games console with multiple touch screens, internet access and a massive range of music and films that can be downloaded (although the PSN store is not a patch on ITunes) it’s perfectly suited to older children & teenagers.  However it’s range of games are very expensive and quite limited, and while more are on their way, there might not be a huge amount of games for the future.  For those already owning a PlayStation 3 the Vita offers even more, offering cross play and inter connectivity between the two, really bringing value to the vita.  You can get some excellent deals pre-Christmas with the handheld and games bundle for less than £200

Best For Families

The Wii was a staple in houses up and down the country a few years ago, now seemingly consigned to the gathering dust in a cupboard it still has a huge catalogue of games at very low prices and can be enjoyed by the whole family offering that old fashioned board game fun on Christmas day. However once the games are finished there is very little else to recommend about the now rather dated Wii.

Microsoft’s Xbox 360 and Sony’s PlayStation 3 are two of the big boys in the market and offer the widest breadth and range of games available everything from dancing & karaoke games to realistic military shooting games.  However connect them to the internet and they come into their own as a central part of the living room, both offer streaming of BBC’s Iplayer and equivalent Channel 4 and ITV versions. If you have Lovefilm and Netflix accounts you can access them through the consoles.  Both consoles offer direct purchase of Games and films (films can also be rented) as well as demo and video downloads from their own stores.  Both consoles also have parental setting so you can control what your little monsters can view & play.

As far as that family ‘board game’ at Christmas feel, Microsoft has the Kinect an expensive, if somewhat flawed, camera that sits on your TV but allows for some lovely group family experiences around the likes of Ubisoft's Disney Just Dance game & Kinectimals, 

Sony’s offers the JK Rowling Wonderbook: Book of Spells,  perfect for budding Harry Potters who will see their book come to life on screen and cast spells with their wands on screen.

So which one to Pick?  Tough.  Both have their merits and there is very little to choose between them both.  Find out what your circle of friends own so older Children can play online with people they know. Failing that just go for the best deal and there are some excellent ones out there.

Prices for the consoles begin at £130 and increase in price based upon the size of the HDD games retail for £15 - £50 

Best for Dad Pretending he’s Buying it for the Kids

That’ll be the Wii U, Nintendo’s new hope, the console launches today stock is limited and will be till after Christmas.  While Nintendo will be hoping that the console replicates the success of the Wii some commentators are more sceptical.

The console comes with a tablet style controller that allows dad the kids to play while someone else is watching the TV and makes for some interesting game ideas, where the touch screen can be used.

Its expected that both Sony & Micorosft will launch their new consoles next year so you might want to hold off for a little while before taking the plunge

If you can find one, prices are around £259.99  

Rugger? Bugger.

One of the things never mentioned in any of the parent manuals is what the bloody hell to do when the weather is not great, you’re stuck at home and there is rugby on the TV…

Now i’ve tried to watch the Rugby the at the same time as entertaining the girls, it doesn't work, as Number 2 either stands at the TV shouting ‘Peppa’ or Number 1 wants some musical from the 1940’s or a Disney Film (thank god for the excellent LoveFilm streaming service on the PlayStation 3).

I've tried playing with the girls while keeping an eye on my Sky Go on the phone. But to no avail. As soon as my back is turned I recognise the ‘silence’ which means Number 2 is most definitely upto no good.  Either climbed on the table, playing with the washing machine or digging in the cat food again.

Certain indoor games do work for a short while, you can buy 10 minutes at a time with Number 1 with hide and seek, sitting there counting loudly to twenty then watching TV for 10minutes before an irate 4 year old susses that’s she’s been played and then insists you hide as punishment.  Even hide and seek leaves you with Number 2 who for that 10 minutes will get hold of the remote, press buttons on it that will render your TV useless as a large “you have no new messages” sign pings up slap bang across the middle of the screen leaving you no idea how to get rid of it.

I've even tried deflecting the attention onto the cat trying to make her the centre of attention, But NO she gets a blanket and a cuddle.

Even when Number 1 was going through a short lived Harry Potter spell, where role play meant I could lock her in the cupboard under the stairs for an entire afternoon, didn't last long after the wife pointed out that social services might not like it as much as Number 1 did.  

Now that might make me sound like a bad parent, I love my daughters dearly. So on Saturday at 2.35pm just as England kicked off against Fiji, i admitted defeat, pressed Rec on the Sky box and went for a walk in the countryside. I loved it more than the girls did… but thank god for 3G reception