Friday, 30 November 2012

Marissa Mayer


Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo is an amazing woman, one of the youngest Fortune 500 CEO's and a trailblazer for women in the male dominated technology sector. She is the kind of person i hope both my daughters aspire to be like rather than the vapid reality TV celebrity, which seems to be the vogue among many nowadays.

She recently commented in an interview (http://postcards.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2012/11/28/yahoo-mayer-talks/?section=magazines_fortunet) that having a baby was easier than expected, which is great. I'm delighted for her, (I find it bloody tough) especially as she was able to return to work less than two weeks after giving birth.

She's a lucky woman that her circumstances allow her enough support to be able to juggle the work and childcare balance than many strive and fail to hit.  We all dream of not worrying about going to work on 2 hours sleep, having to get the kid and herself dressed and out the house to be on time for work, to have to deal with household jobs, shopping, supplying prizes for the school Christmas fayre, dropping off at ballet and picking up from the childminder, or the accompanying guilt that comes with all this.

We shouldn't castigate Marissa for her finding things easy, she has after all worked bloody hard to get where she has, but as Dad's maybe we should perhaps stop and have a think about the incredible working mums that work just as hard as Marissa and but don't find it an 'easy' balance to both bring in money to the household while being a full time mummy.


On the Sixth Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to me... Six Consoles Gaming


Given what I do for a living one of the most asked questions of me is what games console should I buy my child for Christmas? My answer is always it depends… you wouldn't buy a sports car if you and your family lived down a country lane would you?  And you wouldn't buy a 4x4 if you lived in the city… oh, perhaps scrub that last bit.

To the uninitiated it might seem like an odd thing to say, but pick the games console might suits you and your child’s needs.  They’re not all the same; some are much more suitable to different ages and types of entertainment.   If you don’t want to spend £300 for a very expensive box under the TV that isn't touched, or on a console that is deemed ‘babyish’ in less than a year’s time, read on.


Best Games Console For Child Under 5
If your child is under 5 my suggestion is don’t bother, they’re far too young to really get the moneys worth out of a games console.  Instead have a look at the Mobi-Go range which offers a more educational learning spin and offers both a touch screen and a Qwerty keyboard for learning the alphabet, spelling and numeracy. 
I was extremely sceptical of thinking that the apps on mobile phones or tablets are just as useful, until we purchased a mobi-go one for Number 1 last Christmas.  It costs around £50 and new games are £10-£15. While it does chew through batteries it’s simple to use, is of a solid build, chunky and portable it’s great for the kids to use on their own without worrying they’re going to scratch or damage it like you would with your tablet or smart phone (There is also no chance of having them in app purchase £500 of smurfberrys either)


Best for Long Journeys
For your younger ones look no further than the 3DS for a portable games console, it comes in a range of colours and has a large range of games.  It’s worth noting that Nintendo themselves recommend that the 3D option isn't used by Children under the age of 7 (a simple slider bar means you can switch it off easily) it’s priced around £130 and the games aren't cheap when you’re used to App store prices, at around £30. 



Sony’s PlayStation Vita is a lovely bit of technology straddling the line of tablet and games console with multiple touch screens, internet access and a massive range of music and films that can be downloaded (although the PSN store is not a patch on ITunes) it’s perfectly suited to older children & teenagers.  However it’s range of games are very expensive and quite limited, and while more are on their way, there might not be a huge amount of games for the future.  For those already owning a PlayStation 3 the Vita offers even more, offering cross play and inter connectivity between the two, really bringing value to the vita.  You can get some excellent deals pre-Christmas with the handheld and games bundle for less than £200



Best For Families
The Wii was a staple in houses up and down the country a few years ago, now seemingly consigned to the gathering dust in a cupboard it still has a huge catalogue of games at very low prices and can be enjoyed by the whole family offering that old fashioned board game fun on Christmas day. However once the games are finished there is very little else to recommend about the now rather dated Wii.

Microsoft’s Xbox 360 and Sony’s PlayStation 3 are two of the big boys in the market and offer the widest breadth and range of games available everything from dancing & karaoke games to realistic military shooting games.  However connect them to the internet and they come into their own as a central part of the living room, both offer streaming of BBC’s Iplayer and equivalent Channel 4 and ITV versions. If you have Lovefilm and Netflix accounts you can access them through the consoles.  Both consoles offer direct purchase of Games and films (films can also be rented) as well as demo and video downloads from their own stores.  Both consoles also have parental setting so you can control what your little monsters can view & play.

As far as that family ‘board game’ at Christmas feel, Microsoft has the Kinect an expensive, if somewhat flawed, camera that sits on your TV but allows for some lovely group family experiences around the likes of Ubisoft's Disney Just Dance game & Kinectimals, 




Sony’s offers the JK Rowling Wonderbook: Book of Spells,  perfect for budding Harry Potters who will see their book come to life on screen and cast spells with their wands on screen.



So which one to Pick?  Tough.  Both have their merits and there is very little to choose between them both.  Find out what your circle of friends own so older Children can play online with people they know. Failing that just go for the best deal and there are some excellent ones out there.

Prices for the consoles begin at £130 and increase in price based upon the size of the HDD games retail for £15 - £50 



Best for Dad Pretending he’s Buying it for the Kids
That’ll be the Wii U, Nintendo’s new hope, the console launches today stock is limited and will be till after Christmas.  While Nintendo will be hoping that the console replicates the success of the Wii some commentators are more sceptical.

The console comes with a tablet style controller that allows dad the kids to play while someone else is watching the TV and makes for some interesting game ideas, where the touch screen can be used.

Its expected that both Sony & Micorosft will launch their new consoles next year so you might want to hold off for a little while before taking the plunge

If you can find one, prices are around £259.99  










Tuesday, 27 November 2012

The Sound of Silence

This isn't about the amazing Simon and Garfunkel song of the same name, nor is it that time post 7pm when the kids are asleep in bed and the silence is only broken by the glug glug glugging of wine being poured into the glass... no the sound of the silence is as dark and terrifying as the lyrics of the song.

You're having a nice conversation with your other half, maybe on the phone to an old friend or caught up with some household chores.  Your partner turns and stares open eyed like the moment in a horror film where the killer ghost reveals it's self. 

The conversation then goes something like this 

"What???"
"LISTEN"
"......."   
"Oh *£!&"

At that point the penny drops, your angelic little girls are silent, there is not a noise to be heard. Your feet start moving like roadrunners, moving but getting no traction, the world slows as you take the corner from the kitchen as your socked feet slide like they're on ice, you fly round the into the room the silence has enveloped like a fog and and you find a scene like this...



Well in my case it Number 2 was the wannabe Banksy / displaying her creative side with the crayons... we are now decorating the lounge a little earlier than expected.


With apologies to Simon and Garfunkel 

Hello reader, my new friend
I've come to post a blog again
Because a princess softly creeping
Drew on walls while I was sleeping
And the vision that was painted on the wall
Still remains
I should have noticed the sound of silence

In restless nights I worked alone
Scrubbing walls like cobblestones
'Neath the halo of a habitat lamp
I scrubbed with sugar soap and damp
When my eyes were drawn by the flash of neon pen
behind the sofa
And i cursed the sound of silence

And in the Ikea light I saw
Ten thousand crayons, on the floor
Paint was everywhere and leaking
The glue on the floor was glistening
People who experience writing on the walls never shared
And i forgot to
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fool!", said I, "You will never learn
They'll work together to take a turn
Always hide the craft when you're at home
Please read my words that I might teach you
Take my twitter so I might reach you"
But my words, like marker pen on walls will be ignored
And etched
In the wells of silence

And as I went to B&Q
This story i'm telling you
the till flashed out its warning
Blimey the cost of paint is soaring
And the lesson learnt in all this, "The words of the princess are written on the living room walls
but they're no Banksy's"
And are scribbled in the sound of silence



Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Rugger? Bugger.


One of the things never mentioned in any of the parent manuals is what the bloody hell to do when the weather is not great, you’re stuck at home and there is rugby on the TV…

Now i’ve tried to watch the Rugby the at the same time as entertaining the girls, it doesn't work, as Number 2 either stands at the TV shouting ‘Peppa’ or Number 1 wants some musical from the 1940’s or a Disney Film (thank god for the excellent LoveFilm streaming service on the PlayStation 3).

I've tried playing with the girls while keeping an eye on my Sky Go on the phone. But to no avail. As soon as my back is turned I recognise the ‘silence’ which means Number 2 is most definitely upto no good.  Either climbed on the table, playing with the washing machine or digging in the cat food again.

Certain indoor games do work for a short while, you can buy 10 minutes at a time with Number 1 with hide and seek, sitting there counting loudly to twenty then watching TV for 10minutes before an irate 4 year old susses that’s she’s been played and then insists you hide as punishment.  Even hide and seek leaves you with Number 2 who for that 10 minutes will get hold of the remote, press buttons on it that will render your TV useless as a large “you have no new messages” sign pings up slap bang across the middle of the screen leaving you no idea how to get rid of it.

I've even tried deflecting the attention onto the cat trying to make her the centre of attention, But NO she gets a blanket and a cuddle.




Even when Number 1 was going through a short lived Harry Potter spell, where role play meant I could lock her in the cupboard under the stairs for an entire afternoon, didn't last long after the wife pointed out that social services might not like it as much as Number 1 did.  

Now that might make me sound like a bad parent, I love my daughters dearly. So on Saturday at 2.35pm just as England kicked off against Fiji, i admitted defeat, pressed Rec on the Sky box and went for a walk in the countryside. I loved it more than the girls did… but thank god for 3G reception 

Monday, 12 November 2012

No I don't want a Cuddle


Number 2 goes in for a cuddle with her Cousin and gets rejected...

Out of The Mouths...



Number 2 is adorably cute, to the point that if she wakes up in the night you can hear her calling "Mummy. Daddy, Cuddle?" the whole learning new words is wonderful as a parent, heart melting, tear to the eye stuff.   

But it's Number 1 where we find most fun, her stubborn I’m always right streak makes for some interesting conversations. As a two year old her Great Uncle Rodger was simply known as "Uncle Bugger" while last Christmas as a three year old, she kept asking to open her "African Lavender" cue puzzled looks and full on screaming tantrum when everyone looked puzzled till we worked out she was asking for her Advent Calendar.

It truly is amazing what kids soak up through osmosis…

Recently when discussing the human body with her school teacher Aunt that the heart was being discussed.

Aunt           “the heart keeps you alive”
Number 1    “what happens when it stops?”
Aunt           “well you die and then you go off to heaven”
Number 1    “Great Nans heart stopped and now she’s in heaven. Heaven is a very long way away. It’s so far away that we can’t go and see her anymore… it’s nearly as far away as Auntie Did lives”

Auntie Did actually lives in Ware less than 10 miles away, but my mother in Law
is always moaning about how far the drive is from Barnet. 




Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Dad's it's OK to be Rubbish at... Ponytails



I'm bald, I have been for several years now.

My knowledge of what to do with hair starts and stops at throwing a bit of molding mud in it and rubbing it in to look messy, and the period where i used hair straighteners as part of some clever comb over weave thing i nearly managed to pull off in my early 30's

It's fair to say that aside from the those stray long hairs I've started finding in my eye brows and growing out of my back as i've got older hair is an old, distant, barely remembered friend.  So when 'Number 1' asks for her hair in a ponytail for school we have two options
  • a) I try and sell her the benefits of an Alice band  
  • b) i try a ponytail.  

Plan a) never ever works, even when you pitch it to her that Alice Bands are cool, as seen on Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella (Pro Tip - never ever mention footballers at this point) you are only met with a withering stare that only a 4 year old with attitude can deliver. You know the one that questions the very fabric of your existence on this planet as an adult let alone a parent. I've learnt this look also signify s the beginning of the count down to an apocalyptic tantrum.

Plan b is where the nightmare begins, i only have two hands, but i'm supposed to brush the hair?  hold it together? and then hold a hairband in to hold it in place? You have got to be kidding me.

I try and make my daughter happy by having a stab at it. But because i don't have three hands ends in me packing her off to school with a tail so off centre, so wonky, that any pony whose tail it resembled would have been shot and packed off to the glue factory before it even got to run in the paddock.

I'm yet to try bastard pig tails.